I have my fat, fat clothes. The ones that are the biggest size I have, me at my highest weight.
I have my fat clothes. Ones that I wore as I was losing weight a few years back. Ones that I am far away from fitting in right now.
I have my not-so-fat clothes that I wore at my lowest weight a couple years back. Clothes I could fit into before I hurt my back, before I started treatment for Rheumatoid Arthritis, before my knee replacement, and before my two shoulder surgeries.
And I have the clothes my mom can't wear anymore that she passed along to me. And right now, even those are all too tight.
I just have too many clothes in too many different sizes. And all those sizes don't fit.
It's not like I didn't try and get some weight off again. Cut out that sugar (yeah, it had started to creep back but I got a hold of it again). I exercised for 120 days in a row (yeah, I started to barely get a mile in these last couple weeks).
And I've tried to get rid of my clothes surplus over the last few years so I wouldn't have all these sizes. I first got rid of some of my fat, fat clothes because when I lost the weight I was confident I'd never get that high again. (Boy, I was wrong.)
Then as I gained the weight again, I got rid of some of my not-so-fat clothes because I felt like I failed and I'd never be at that lower weight again.
Then I thought I'd never return to work, so away went some more of my fat clothes and more of my fat, fat clothes.
I do have some clothes that fit. What fits is what I've been wearing most of the time these last couple years - shorts, sweats, jeans, and t-shirts.
But I have a job that requires a certain standard of clothing. I have lots of perfect clothes for work - dozens of tops and bottoms, all different sizes and color, all with one thing in common.
I can't fit into them.
There's nothing like the frustration of not fitting into anything you own to get you motivated to make changes. So it's either go buy several new outfits in yet another size or make a change. Now that I've had some breathing room and thinking time today, I've opted for a change.
An improved exercise program is being put into place. I'm upping the mileage, upping the minutes, adding in some exercise videos and adding some weights.
And a cleaner diet. Looking at today's harvest from our garden, there will be no shortage of vegetables.
