Pages

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Hunkering Down

As I continue with my chemotherapy medication that makes me sick, as I wait for approval for the new, aggressive rheumatoid arthritis medication. As hubby waits to see if he will have any income this month. As we wait for new carpet to arrive and Internet and phone to be installed in our Boise home. As we wait for our Marsing home to sell. As we work through the emotional and physical toll these last few months have taken on us. 

As we wait we have decided to hunker down. Keeping our feelings and thoughts to ourselves, no talking and no visiting and seeing no one. Just the two of us taking a break from the world for a little while. 

We'll be back in society and back to responsibilities and obligations when the time is right. But that time is not now.  Midlife crisis? Physical breakdown? Mental breakdown? 

Maybe a combination of all. Time to take advantage of this sign:


Saturday, January 17, 2015

Emotions

The emotions that have accompanied the life changes we've been experiencing have been stronger than expected.

Husband sitting home all day, every day, with nothing to do but watch TV. His identity - high school teacher - has been lost. 28 years spent in the same school district, in the same building, teaching the same subject. How could it not be an emotional draining situation for him?

Losing kitty, my companion. Having to put her to sleep was difficult. 14 years of knowing when I wasn't feeling well, climbing onto my lap to keep me company. Sitting in the window as I sat sewing at the machine. Still feels like a part of me is missing.

Then teary eyes in kiddo's room when I was cleaning out and boxing things up to make room for the painter. From elementary school to middle school to high school to college to married life, her knick knacks and clothes and medals and posters that had been collected had remained.

The house is now empty. Painting is finished. Doing a walkthrough last night brought more tears to the eyes. And while it won't officially go onto the market until Wednesday, we now have a sign in the yard. Anyone looking for a four bedroom three bath house with a river view in Marsing, Idaho? I know someone selling one.

An emotional time.


Friday, January 16, 2015

Timing

At 8:49 AM I made a phone call. Pouring rain, side of the highway, heading back to Marsing for the last time. With a flat tire. 

At 9:11 AM as I sat in the cold car waiting for AAA to arrive I received a text. It came from someone I work with, someone who had no knowledge of my current side-of-the-road situation.  

"Today is going to be awesome!" 

How's that for timing? Such a good reminder that we can choose to be happy even in the pain-in-the-rear situations. 

Thank you, you-know-who for choosing that moment to connect with me. 

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Convinced

I am completely convinced that the geese are speaking directly to me as they honk. Another load of house stuff packed into the car = another noisy flock flying overhead. 

I think we'll both miss each other. 

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Cats and Kids (and Geese)

Before I walked out the door this morning I told my husband, "A house this big needs to be filled with cats and kids. Since we have neither here, it's time to go."

I think the geese agree. For two consecutive days as I've been packing the car I've been greeted by noisy Canadian Geese flying overhead. 

Somehow I think they are telling me goodbye. 

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Hidden Gem

Have you ever had the experience of seeing something, but not really seeing it? I've looked at this picture of ice on my rose bush before. Didn't even see the single snowflake hanging off of it.

Time to start opening my eyes.


Monday, January 12, 2015

The Joy in the Day

As I knelt on the hard floor I realized titanium knees and kneeling, at least in my case, don't mix. In that moment I realized stand up paddle boarding will probably never be part of my life.

Then I went and passed up the opportunity this weekend at the YMCA standup paddle boarding open house. I chickened out, plain and simple. 

Guess I'll find a new adventurous dream. It's not like I don't have a lot to choose from. Not just a lot right now, though. In the winter and the cold and the snow and the rain and the freezing rain and the clouds and fog not many options are presenting themselves right now. 

The brief moment of sunshine (you really have to look to see it) gave me a glimmer of hope for something popping up soon. A joyous moment. 


It's Time

I can't believe what I'm about to say.

It's time.

Time to start the blog up again. Surprised? I sure am. Never thought the day would come where I would find myself writing on a daily basis again. Picture taking, yes. Writing, no. 

But there have been a lot of changes in my life – our lives – and I need an outlet.

The changes, in no particular order:

*Kitty had to be put to sleep. 
*Hubby is no longer working and may wind up on disability. 
*We are making the move from our Marsing house to our Boise house – permanently. 
*I've just recently made the decision not to return to work next year. It was in the early days of this blog when I was so excited to go back to work. And now I'm excited to go the other direction.
*I am down almost 170 pounds.

Yet some things still stay the same.

*I still have rheumatoid arthritis. (No surprise there.) I still only have one lung working. (No surprise there either, but with the weight loss comes easier breathing.) 
*I still work on charity quilts for kids.
*My lust for travel continues. (Actually that should fall in the change list. I find now that I feel a little bit better about myself wanting to do more and go more places.)

It has been a wild ride. Let's see how much wilder it can get. So here I go again pouring out everything I see and do and think and feel.

Welcome back to us both.

First picture up, one of my focuses for the year.